Friends with The Opposite Gender After Marriage - When are They Okay?
Friends are important and they will always be important. How do your friendships get affected after you get married? Should there be any change in your lifestyle? Is your partner wrong in asking you to stop being friends with some people?
What Changes after Marriage?
When you are single your social life is hanging out with a lot of friends. At that time you are not always concerned whether everyone in your group is single or not. Once you get married, you notice your partner is extra cautious of friends of the opposite sex. They might even have a problem with you spending time with some of them.
Although your partner is the best person and is cool with everything you do, there will be certain changes after marriage. That does not mean our partner will suddenly become less understanding or tolerant of your friends, but their outlook will change a little and so should years. When you are newlywed you are building an all-new life together with your spouse. They might need more of your time to adjust to this new life.
Before it did not matter that you had a lot of single friends, but now it does because you are married. It is just a general fact that couples hang out with couples, they simply cannot survive without it. So your partner may occasionally feel that spending one on one time with that single friend who you had a past with is not inappropriate.
You may agree with your partner’s opinion about your friend or you might disagree. But just because you are now married, both of you have to discuss it together to find out what is the source of the problem. Now that you are married, you share your life with someone else, they cannot dictate how you live it but they might have an opinion about it.
Friends of the Same-Sex
If you are a man and you have a group of friends that you hang out with any time you get, then most likely you adore those people. If your wife has a problem with one man from that group, the reason might be that she sees something in him, that you never noticed. When she warns you about this one man or asks you to stop being friends with him, without getting enraged and defensive try to understand the reason behind her dislike of this man. Ask her calmly what is bothering her about him, if her logic makes sense to you then rethink your friendship with this man. If it seems you cannot understand her point at all or that she has misunderstood then try to make her understand your point of view.
If you are a woman and your husband does not approve of your relationship with that one particular girl, then also discuss to find out the exact reason why. Your husband might think that she is too interfering or fills your head with a negative idea, whatever his reasons, try to understand that. If you think the things that he is saying actually affect you and your relationship, then maybe you are better off without her. But the final decision is always on you.
Friendship with the Opposite Sex
Of course, you can be friends with someone of the opposite sex. If your partner blatantly forbids you to do that then your partner is actually being unfair and inappropriate. Other than that you also need to keep in mind, now that you are married there are some boundaries that you should maintain with all your friends. If your partner is jealous of one particular friend, then analyze how your behavior is causing that. Sometimes jealousy stems out of our own insecurities, understand that and address that.