Relationships — 2 years ago

How Does Insecurity Affect Relationships?

by Kelly B.

How Does Insecurity Affect Relationships

How Does Insecurity Affect Relationships?

Everyone feels insecure sometimes, but there needs to be a level of trust and security when you enter a relationship. You need to be able to confide with your partner, tell them what you think and solve problems together. It takes a lot of time and effort to make a relationship work and so you need to think about the commitment seriously before you embark on a serious relationship.

Some forms of insecurity that people often face in relationships are low confidence, fear, jealousy, mistrust, and uncertainty. For instance, if a partner is out for work, if you are insecure, you might always fear that your partner is having affairs with other people or not doing their work seriously. Such thoughts lead to severe issues which often ends with disagreements and fights. 

How Does Insecurity Affect Relationships

Types of insecurity

There are many ways a person can feel insecure in a relationship, especially if your partner is not supportive. If your partner criticizes your weight or your looks, for instance, you might obsess about what your partner said if you feel insecure. When you obsess, it is a form of low self-confidence in yourself.

Some insecure people would cut back on what they eat to lose weight or diet excessively, rather than feeling good about their body. A more self-confident person would tell their partner that they are happy with their body and that if they want to be in a relationship, it would be better to say positive things about each other rather than continually criticize or demote the partner. Standing up for yourself in the relationship shows self-confidence and gives you the ability to speak openly about your thoughts with your partner.

Insecurity in Relationships

One of the other common aspects that affect insecurity is if you are fearful or mistrust your partner. Instead of monitoring where they go or what they do, it is better to take your partner's words for what they are doing. Relationships get stronger when you do not have to report everything to your partner and have a level of trust that makes you feel secure in the relationship.

If you feel that your partner is unfaithful to you and if you have serious concerns which are not part of insecurity, then it is better to confront them openly and honestly about what you feel and see whether it is actually true. Many times, we have misconceptions about our partner in a relationship and feel the need to control the other person constantly. Controlling is also serious insecurity that needs to be addressed if you face such issues in your relationship. You need to let your partner do what they feel and give them the freedom to be their true self around you.

What happens when you’re insecure?

When you feel insecure about your partner, both of you cannot be in a secure relationship. The relationship might end in a break-up or a divorce if the insecurity becomes serious. In countries such as India, many men do not want their wives to work or go out of the house to work because they feel insecure that their partner might not be faithful towards them.

Insecurity and Relationships
Such issues will cause serious problems and will inhibit growth in the relationship on both sides. One of the best joys of being in a relationship is so that you can grow and work together with your partner in this commitment. If you both do not trust each other and cannot be open-minded about the other person’s ability to improve and adapt to situations, it is going to be a dead-end relationship.

Many men also expect women not to work after childbirth which might again make the relationship more insecure. Your partner needs to be your best friend and confident in whatever you wish to achieve in the relationship. It is better if both the partners work and are busy with a career because it will increase self-confidence and self-actualization. A feeling of worth in the relationship cannot be achieved with insecurity in yourself.


It is very important that you trust your partner. One way of doing this is by spending a lot of time with them before committing to marry them. Once you know your partner and if you are compatible, you can understand each other's thought patterns and personalities.

It is also essential to state your thoughts clearly and form some household rules. This will lead to a more secure relationship, and you will have a lot fewer problems once you are seriously committed. The main goal of a relationship is for both parties to be happy and healthy.

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