Walk Away from a Mentally Abusive Relationship with this Guide
It is ridiculously easy to get caught in the web of a mentally abusive relationship. The beginnings of abuse are generally benign like your torturer will innocuously question your choice of clothes when going out to attend a social gathering. The list of other subtle but pinching questions will be suggestions like ordering the salad or foisting the advertisement for a new job application when you are enjoying your hobby.
You will brush off the initial unease for the first few months. You like to believe they are telling you this as they loved you and concerned about your future. Their suggestions, you feel, are not far off and you feel happy when your maker your partner or abuser happy. At that time you wanted to appear understanding and receptive of that person's opinions.
After some time, you will feel afraid of his reactions. You now begin to notice that your partner's behavior towards you is now most critical. One mistake and the person will be angry and punitive. You will start to understand that your torturer is emotionally manipulative. There will be regular threats of abandonment and rejection. You now tend to blame yourself for the abuse. You now want to go back to the time that person supposedly loves you.
If you feel like the victim above, you are in a mentally abusive relationship. You are already trapped in the web of abuse and lies. It is high time you get out and eject the person from your life.
Know your abuser
Only a weak person abuse another individual. The sole reason for you getting abused it that your torturer feels powerless and helpless in other spheres of life. They want you to depend on them as it gives them a sense of power. When your torturer abuses you, it is to make sure you never reject them. In the depths of their mind, an abuser knows that he is unlovable and inadequate. Do remember it is not your fault.
Wrestling back control of your life
Get back to your old self. Walk away from the relationship if you have the willpower to do so. Summon willpower to get out. Doing this will help you to go forward from a certain place of power. Not doing so could throw you in a place of fear. The best way to progress in this case is to put limits on the abuser's emotional outbursts and criticism. Do not engage in conversations. Make your partner known you mean business. If you want to save the relationship, align his wants with your safety and security. Do not give your consent to do things simply to keep the peace. Follow your gut instincts in this case. If the latter tells you not to do any particular activity, do not do it.
Be honest with yourself
Consider your needs, values, and goals. Ensure the decisions you make are aligned with what you feel is the correct step. If an activity is a dishonest one, or you feel bad doing, stop doing that. Do not be intimidated by that person. Say “no” and say it loudly and purposefully. Your mental abuser will soon get the message.
Find out ways to reconnect with the old, real, and happy you. Remind yourself as to how would you like to be treated. If you want, engage and also connect with the people who love you for being what you are. Remember, only you can break the cycle of torture. A good relationship will always support your growth and makes you happy- not diminishes it. Love people who help you and gives you confidence.