Constantly talking isn’t necessarily classified as good communication. And by now we all know that good communication is key to a successful and healthy relationship. There’s no sugarcoating it. A new relationship is all kinds of messy. There is always the talk of, “What are we?” and then there’s meeting each other’s friends. There are many things that could go wrong. Here are a few dos and don’ts that you could follow to get you through the initial mess.
DO: Reduce the anxiety of meeting with the parents
Take the initiative. There’s usually a lot of walking on eggshells and thin ice when you invite someone to meet your parents. Reduce all this unnecessary stress by just inviting them to a dinner party with a few other people, where there’s no way you two will be the center of attention. This way, you’re less likely to get scrutinized. The parents will be too busy entertaining the other guests to focus on you two and when there’s finally time to have an intimate meeting, you will all be already familiar.
DON’T: Jump the gun
There’s no point in moving fast. That will only complicate things. It’s important to take some time for yourself. Spending every waking moment with your new found date may be a big temptation but that will only familiarize them with you. There will be no sense of mystery left to discover and that’s not a very good thing.
DO: Learn how to use your time wisely
Use the 50-30-20 rule as an example. Don’t spend more than 50% of your time with your partner. Spend 30% with your family and friends and 20% with yourself. This division allows you avoid alienating your friends and lose touch with your inner self. It also avoids you from burning out and losing all sense of mystery too fast.
DON’T: Discuss your relationship via text
Texts are awesome for just checking in from time to time and making plans for later. Stick to the phone calls and face-to-face interactions for deeper, more meaningful conversations. If face-to-face interactions are too hard for you to handle, chances are that you’re either not with the right person or you’re not entirely ready for a serious relationship and you’re just exploring your options through dating.
DO: Stay true to who you are
Never compromise your values and beliefs for the sake of someone else. Compromise is something that makes all relationships work but giving up on your core beliefs is only setting you up for disappointment later on.
DON’T: Compare your new partner to your ex
Avoid talking about other guys (or girls) until a later point in your relationship where you’re both secure enough to handle it.
DO: Let him know where you draw the line
Boundaries are important. Vocalize your likes and dislikes.
DON’T: Get even
Always treat your partner the way you’d like to be treated. No matter what they might have done to anger you, don’t resort to constantly bringing it up during a fight. That’s just being petty and is never appreciated.