Jealousy is normal and everyone experiences it at some point or the other. It is when jealousy reaches a point where it starts causing fights and trust issues in a relationship that it becomes a problem. Dealing with an over possessive and jealous partner can be difficult and can put a strain on a relationship and sometimes even break it up. If you find yourself wondering how to make things work with your jealous partner, then we have some tips that could help.
Dealing with jealousy
There are always steps you can take to make the situation better and then there are things that will make it worse. Knowing what to do and what not to do, could save you a whole lot of pain and heartache in the long run. When your partner starts showing their jealous side, here is what you need to do:
- Talk: You need to remember that jealousy stems from insecurity. Your partner could have a very real fear of losing you which may be causing them to act the way they act. Talk to your partner and try and find out why he or she is so afraid that you would leave. You might get some valuable insights into your own behavior.
- Reassurance: Be patient and kind with your partner’s fears and reassure them that you are not going anywhere. By giving them time to listen to them, taking them seriously, and reassuring them, you will help calm their insecurities a bit.
- Address the issue: Whatever you do, don’t ignore the behavior and walk off in anger. Walking off and waiting till both of you cool down might seem like a good idea to avoid confrontation but it could make the situation worse. A jealous partner usually needs the reassurance that you are not cheating on them and walking off only gets their imagination going. When and if you do decide to come and talk, you could very well be dealing with a whole new level of insecurity.
- Don’t get defensive: Reacting and not responding is something that should be avoided as far as possible. Your partner might accuse you of cheating when you haven’t and it’s easy to get annoyed and defend yourself. But to an insecure person, this is a sign of guilt. When you get defensive and angry or start giving out all the reasons why you couldn’t be cheating, you make your partner think that you actually have something to hide.
- Be patient: Excessive jealousy has deep roots. Your partner might have been neglected as a child while a sibling got more attention or they could have been cheated on in a past relationship. You might have a lifelong situation on your hands where the issues might keep popping up every now and then. If you want to make the relationship work, you need to be very patient with your partner and keep reassuring them that you are not leaving. In time, you will find your partner being more secure.
- Get counseling: In very extreme cases, you could visit a relationship counselor to help you both sort things out or you could encourage your partner to see a psychologist to help deal with their insecurities.
We’re not going to lie; dealing with a jealous partner is hard work and could put a lot of strain on you. Ultimately, you need to decide if you want to make the relationship work or not. If you do want to make it work, then you need to be prepared for all the ups and downs along the way. Letting your partner know that you’re in it for the long haul and that you will work things out together is the first step to making them feel more secure.