Getting a divorce can be a major blow for everyone. After a process that takes months, you find yourself splitting a life you built with another person; you divide your home, try to plan the custody over your children and go on your separate way.
It takes time for many people to feel ready to start dating after divorce, especially if it was a painful one. What do you do? How do you get into the dating pool after you've shared your life with someone? These tips will help you with all those questions and teach you that dating after divorce can be easier than you thought.
How to date after divorce:
1. Make sure you are ready
It can be tempting to start dating right after you get a divorce, but it can do more harm than good. Dating after divorce can be difficult for some people, so you have to make sure you are ready for it. Give yourself time to heal from the divorce and whatever caused it, and then you can start thinking about dating again. Remember that you are under no real pressure to date – don't listen to people who push you to start dating when you aren't ready for it. Take your time and date when it's right for you and not for the people around you.
2. Make sure your kids are ready too
Dating after divorce is not only strange and new for you, but for your children as well. Before you get back in the dating game, sit you kids down for a conversation and explain to them that you are about to start seeing other people. Many children hope their parents will get back together after a divorce, so make sure that you are as delicate as possible, yet clear with conveying that you are not getting back together with their other parent. You may encounter resistance, and in that case, you should give your children time to except what is happening. When you do start dating, make sure you plan your dates on the nights when they aren't staying with you. They need to know that come first.
3. Meet people with similar interests
Dating after divorce is different than dating before a marriage, especially in your 30s and 40s. If you feel like you are ready to start dating seriously again, go to places where there are people who share similar interests as you. It could be the gym, a cooking class, a yoga class, a travel group, a running group or any other place where you can have fun and meet new people.
4. Use your phone
Dating apps and dating websites are a great place to meet people with the same interests and same intentions as you. Nowadays you can sign up for dating apps and websites of all kinds – singles over 40s, divorcees, people with children etc. When you sign up to these websites, make sure the people you speak with are actually who they say they are using a people search engine. Also, try to have fun and get to know new people, even if it doesn't lead to a serious relationship.
5. Get out into the real world
Dog parks, restaurants, wine tastings and other places make for a great opportunity to meet new people in the real world. Apps are great, but there in nothing like meeting a person face to face and seeing if you have chemistry with potential love interests. So, when dating after divorce, don't be afraid to get out into the real world and meet people like in the good old days.