7 Tips on how to Deal with Ghosting
Ghosting has become one of the most common ways to end a relationship, but unfortunately, it’s also one of the worst. Once ghosters have their way with the person they’re dating, they disappear without leaving a trace. Finding out that you’ve been ghosted can be devastating, especially if you really likes the other person, and they made you think they felt the same. So, what do you do? How to deal with ghosting? These tips will help you move on, and realize you did nothing wrong.
Make sure you’ve been ghosted
The beginning of any relationship is accompanied with a lot of uncertainty; does he like me? will she call me back? that’s why you can easily think you’ve been ghosted even though you haven't. Before you bury the relationship for good, make sure you’ve been ghosted. If the other person stopped calling you, texting you, deleted friendships with you on social media, etc., than yes - you have been ghosted. If the communication has become less frequent, but you still talk to one another, you’ve not been ghosted.
Don’t try to be cool
Being ghosted is messed up, and the person ghosting you is even more messed up. If you are certain that you have been ghosted, don’t try to be cool and not contact the other person. You will regret doing that further down the line, so don’t be afraid to call out the other person on their ghosting antics. Send them a text or an email telling them how you feel. At this point, you don’t have anything to lose, so at least you’ll get you anger off you chest.
Talk about it with friends
Research has shown time and time again that keeping feelings bottled up only makes you feel worse. Research has also shown that talking about your emotions help alleviate the anger, and let go of what happened. So, set up an evening with your friends, and talk your way to healing. Cry, laugh, complain, and let go of the pain of someone who walked out on you without warning.
Don’t take it personally
For most of us, the first thought that comes to mind when someone breaks up with us is “what did I do?”. The same is even worse when it comes to ghosting, when we think that’s something is so wrong with us that people can’t even stand to break up with us face to face. Well, you’re wrong! ghosting has little to nothing to do with you, and a lot to do with ghosters. People who disappear without saying a word are selfish, cowardly, and down right mean. For them, ghosting is just another expression of their personality. They are likely to be as selfish and inconsiderate in other aspects of their lives, so you should be grateful that you dodged a bullet, and understand you didn’t do anything to deserve being ghosted.
You should always give yourself some time to grief when a relationship ends, but don’t over do it. Being ghosted can harm your confidence, but you have to pick yourself up, and move in as best as you can. Meet friends, have some drinks, keep working, working out, and having fun exactly like you did before you were ghosted. Breaking routine will only make you feel worse, and you shouldn’t. Life goes on, and so should you.
One of the things that can set you back after being ghosted is seeing reminders of the person who ghosted you. So, get reed of any reminders you may have of the person who disappeared on you; throw out photos, delete them from social media, delete their contact information, and any texts. The phrase “out of sight, out of mind” works wonders when you get ghosted, so make sure you don’t have anything to remind you of the person who hurt you.
Work through the pain
Ignoring pain is just as worse as wallowing in it, so you shouldn’t pretend you’re completely fine when you’re not. Break-ups of any kind hurt, and ghosting feels even worse than a regular break up. So, acknowledge your pain, cry it out, and start going back to your routine to put things behind you. Don’t be ashamed of admitting that you feel embarrassed or hurt that someone ghosted you, it’s natural. Allow yourself to feel the pain so you can leave it behind, and move on to a better, healthier relationship.
Ghosting is definitely an unpleasant way to get broken up with, and it is often unexpected. It can also wreak havoc on your self confidence, and make you feel like there’s something wrong with you. You should keep in mind that the other person is the one who did something wrong, and once you do, it will be easier to let go of the pain, and move on in the healthiest way.
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