Intimacy Issues - What You Need to Know
Opening up to someone is never easy, but for some people it is nearly impossible. There are many people out there who suffer from intimacy issues without knowing they have intimacy problems. If you have some of these symptoms, you may be one of those people who have a fear of intimacy, and now you can begin the path to releasing yourself from your intimacy issues:
You try to be perfect
When you are in any type of relationship, the ultimate goal is to be excepted and loves, for your strengths, and despite your flaws. To get to that place, you need to trust the person you are with, and people with fear of intimacy find it very difficult. If you fear intimacy, you will try to hide your human flaws from your partner, and try to be as perfect as possible. The distrust in the other person causes you to pretend to be perfect so you won't have to show your flaws and get to close to the other person.
You are not present in mind
Being in one room with other people doesn’t necessarily mean that you are there in spirit. The same goes for sharing a home with a romantic partner; you may be in the same bed together, share the same space and have a life together, but that doesn't mean you're intimate. In these cases, people with fear of intimacy will avoid physical intimacy, even of the simplest kind, and will also keep to themselves. If you are in a relationship, and rarely express yourself and reveal your inner most thought and feelings, you may be suffering a fear of intimacy.
You tend to engage in emotional affairs
People with fear of intimacy avoid talking about intimate issues with their romantic partners. As an outlet to their emotions, those who avoid intimacy have emotional affairs with people who are not their romantic partner. It could be a coworker, someone online, or any person beside the romantic interest. If you fear intimacy, you will likely share personal information with another person, and avoid doing so with your partner.
You would rather be at work than with your partner
Avoiding intimacy is a full-time job for those who have a problem getting close to other people. To make sure that you spend as little time as possible revealing yourself, you will stay at work for long hours and avoid your partner. People who fear intimacy avoid emotions without even realizing it, and they do whatever they can to avoid feeling angry, sad, upset, so they subconsciously do whatever is necessary to do so, even if it takes a physical toll on them.
You don’t introduce your love interest to the people close to you
Keeping your romantic partner away from friends and family is one of the biggest signs for fear of intimacy. If you fear intimacy, you won't want to introduce your love interest to the people who can break your façade, and expose you for who you truly are – an imperfect person. So, you delay the meeting of you partner and your people as much as possible, which can even lead to a break up.
How to Treat Fear of Intimacy
Recognizing you have fear of intimacy is the first step on the way to solving that problem. Once you figure out that you fear intimacy, it's time to get to the root of the problem, and fix whatever is causing you to keep people at arm's length. The best way to treat fear of intimacy is to seek professional help from experts who will give you the tools to deal with the issues that you have. The road to free yourself from fear of intimacy may be a bit long, but you will feel so much better at the other end, where people will embrace and you will finally let them get close enough to do so.