5 Rules for Second Chances in a Relationship
Almost everybody who has been in a long term relationship has at some point or the other felt betrayed or let down by their partner. A lot of the times when this happens we are left wondering what to do, “should we try and work this out or should we just call it quits?” At the end of the day the decision is an extremely personal one and only you know what is right for you. But a little guidance wouldn’t hurt, so here are a few points to consider when giving someone a second chance:
1. That it is a second chance: In most cases the indiscretion or betrayal was a onetime occurrence and could also have been a genuine mistake so you give the person a second chance. But then it happens again and again and we have gone to a third and a fourth chance. If this happens it is time to recognize a pattern and move on from the relationship.
2. The nature of the incident: Did he or she come home one day in a foul mood, possibly inebriated, and verbally lash out? Or did they actually physically harm you? The former though not alright if it happens on a regular basis is still forgivable in certain circumstances. The latter however is a big red flag and the sooner you get out the better.
3. Trust issues: How badly was your trust in your partner affect by their actions? Did he or she cheat on you making you not able to trust them ever again? If you feel that things will never get back to normal and you are always going to be suspicious of their activities from now on, then it’s best that you go your separate ways.
4. Sincere apology: Your partner did something that hurt or upset you but they accepted responsibility for their actions and acknowledged the pain they caused. When they apologize for what they did, you know it your heart that they mean it, this is when a second chance is warranted.
5. Coming clean: Your partner has done something that you wouldn’t like or would hurt you but you don’t know about it. They could just let it go and pretend nothing happened. The problem is that you could find out another way and that would make things worse. If on the other hand your partner comes clean and admits everything to you then you know that they really want to make it right. Don’t punish him or her for their honesty, give them a second chance.