People tend to say that the first year of marriage is the hardest, but for most couples, that couldn't be farther from the truth. While the first year of marriage has it's bumps, especially if you didn’t live together before, the next few years of marriage have their own challenges. When you start having kids, take on a mortgage and try to figure how the hell you share your life and space with another person, you will find yourself dealing with a whole new set of challenges. So, how do you survive the hard years of marriage? Couples that got through the difficulties and made it out the other side shared a few important things that made them last together for over 3 decades:
1. Realize that compromise isn't always possible
We are always taught that in order to make a marriage last, you have to always compromise. While you do need to meet your partner half way in some cases, you have to realize that compromise isn't always possible. If, for instance, you're trying to plan a family vacation and your partner likes adventure get-aways while you prefer a more relaxing vacation, you might end up arguing more than having fun. So, what do you do? Both. You can decide to take two vacations in one year or go on the two types of vacation year after year. That way you will each get what you wanted. It may be a little difficult to bend all the way for your spouse like that but remember that he or she will do the same for you the next time.
2. Never stop working at it
Many couples tend to fall into a rut after a while, and that is when problems in the marriage tend to pop up. Like all the important things in life, marriage takes work, constant work. After years of marriage you may start taking your spouse for granted and stop investing in you relationship, and all the long married couples will tell you that is a big no-no. In order to make a marriage last, you have to invest in it, and if you have trouble figuring out what to do, just ask yourself how you would like to be treated, and do what ever comes into your mind for your partner.
3. Keep in touch
Sex problems make up one of the three major reasons for divorce, and it's no wonder why. Sex is not just about physical satisfaction but also about connection, intimacy and love – three things that should get deeper as time goes by. In order to make a marriage last, you need to first of all communicate with your partner on a daily basis to know what goes on in their life and head. You should keep the communication alive in the bedroom as well and fix sexual problems when they arise instead of letting them get worse. It's hard to admit that you may have problems in the bedroom, but it's a lot harder to go through a divorce, so take the time to stay in touch with you partner on every level.
A 30-year-old marriage is definitely an achievement that married couples aspire to get to. If you want to give out advice of your own after years of marriage, remember these three important tips that came from years of marital experiences of every kind.