How to Break-up a Long-Term Relationship
There is only so much that one can do to maintain a relationship. Eventually, there comes a breaking point when you ask yourself whether it is worth having a person in your life who is constantly bringing you down and preventing you from growing. There are a few that survive the inevitable fight and come out stronger, which only occurs when both the partners are willing to listen, understand and communicate.
However, this is not the case with many couples as negative characteristics of either of the partners' personality (like an unshakable ego or an unwillingness to listen) cause a rift between the pair. This is when you realize that it is time to end a relationship, no matter how long it has lasted. Here are certain pointers that can help you break away from the person you no longer wish to call you are significant other.
Make Sure You are Certain of Your Decision
Long term relationships take up a lot of your time, energy and efforts. They are beautiful as they provide a sort of comfort and security in the form of a romantic battle against the dreadful feeling of being completely alone. Your loved one may have been a positive influence during a difficult situation, but something went awry.
Before you decide to end your relationship, it is important to get yourself in a calm state of mind. Keeping emotions out of the equation, think over whether being with this person in the time to come will aid you, hurt you or make no difference at all. If the future indicates that there are only negative or toxic influences from your partner, it is best to focus on your health and safety and end the relationship.
Remember that Honesty is the best policy
Often, due to their fear of communicating openly with their partner, people indulge in all sorts of activities and say an endless number of things that splinters the relationship even further. A clean break up is one where both the partners talk to each other honestly and decide to end a relationship mutually, simply to hold on to the memory of better times. However, clean break ups are rare and most of the time ending a relationship is a messy affair that can have long term effects.
The important fact is to be clear about everything that you have felt and experienced while being with your partner. If they are mature, they will understand where things went wrong and try to communicate their stance but let you make your own decisions. If not, they may act out. In the latter case, it is best to take all precautions necessary to keep yourself safe.
Give it Time
For many people, time becomes an essential element when they have decided to end their relationships. It needs to be noted that there is no such thing as the right time and the longer you dwell on the thoughts of breaking up the harder it will get to do just that.
Time, patience and honesty go hand in hand in the process of a breakup. One can wait for a peaceful period, but as time slips, it gets harder and harder to be honest about one's emotions. It is best done quickly, like ripping off a bandage.
It is always important to have support during and after the breakup. Relationships are tough by themselves, but they are worse when they end. They push people to their limits of emotional tolerance and can have a lot of side effects like depression. Hence it is best to make sure that you have support when you decide to break up.
Support can be in the form of a family member, a friend or even a counselor who can help you get through the process. There are people out there who truly love and support you for who you are and will take you.