Regretting Divorce Midlife Crisis
A devastating thing has happened to you. You are now divorced whom you thought you would spend the rest of your life with. Divorce may be common in the contemporary world but that never makes it easy. Divorce separates the family and everything you cared for. It is only natural that you are depressed about your divorce and often lose your sleep thinking about all the wrong decisions and choices that could have been avoided. All most all people who are divorced regret the circumstances at some point in their life.
Many people file for a divorce giving into their midlife urges to break free from the dull married life and regret later. The reason it is called a midlife crisis is that people get bored with everything that is going on and think a sudden lifestyle change will make everything better. Some think ending their marriage is their only option to have a more fulfilling life. The people who decide to get divorced on a midlife crisis impulse regret it the most.
The truth is that life goes on, maybe you cannot yet move on but you have to move forward with your life. Before you start to fall into a deep loop of regret and resentment, here are a few points you should remember.
What should you do?
Instead of obsessing and regretting over your divorce divert your thought to the present. Divorce does not happen instantaneously a lot of things need to happen before the final devastating conclusion. Calm down yourself and introspect on a few questions: What has changed since the time the divorce was filed? Why did the topic of divorce start? Would things be different if you reconciled with your ex-partner? DO they feel the same way? Can the issues be resolved? Are you both of you willing to work on it?
If you do not have a clear answer to any of these questions that means you are wasting your time dwelling in the past. Divorce is not to be taken lightly. We all suffer from golden age syndrome. People romanticize the idea ‘it was better as they used to be’. You need to learn from history unless you are sure you have a chance of changing it. Especially in cases where there are children involved, it is all the more difficult not to ponder on the past and think where it all went wrong. Do yourself a favor let it go. Move forward with your life. Confide in close friends and family, they will be there for you. If that is not enough you can always ask for the professional help from a counselor or therapist.
Do not try to hide away from the situation
Things were bad and out of hand, there was nothing more that you could do to save the marriage. Accept the fact without thinking of yourself as a failure. Divorce brings with itself the feeling of sadness, regret, heartbreak, pain, and unhappiness. It is only natural that you will want to get rid of those feelings. But getting back with your partner just because you do not want to be divorced is not the answer.
Do not romanticize the life that used to be
The circumstances changed in such a drastic manner that you had to get divorced. Nothing is that simple. If you are thinking about rebuilding your marriage or reconciliation you cannot decide it on a whim. You have to be calm and invest proper time and thought to sort out your emotions and analyze the situation carefully. You cannot make the problems magically disappear. Either you can resolve the issues or move forward from the incident altogether.