Long-Term Effects of Being Married to a Narcissist
Everyone comes into contact with a narcissist at least once in their lives. It could be a coworker, boss, friend, or worse, your parents. Somehow, we all manage to deal with them, in a manner that both protects who we are as a person, as well as pacify them. Obviously, this comes with varying degrees of success.
But things are different, being married to a narcissist. During the courtship and dating days, you may be head over heels in love with the person who seems too good to be true. They have a knack of making you feel like the most special person in the world. But somehow, all these things disappear the moment you have walked down the aisle.
Being Married to a Narcissist
But can you be married to a narcissist and be happy? Conventions say no. Walking around on eggshells all day, bending over backward just to please them and letting go of arguments just so that you can pacify them is just the icing on a very bad cake. Being married to a narcissist ensures that over time, you have stripped off all the things that make you, you. You become a shell of the person you once were, simply there to stroke the ego of your significant other. The long term effects of being married to a narcissist are no doubt, devastating to their spouse. Let’s take a look below to see the effects of being married to a narcissist.
You Lose Your Sense of Being
Eventually, you forget who you once were. Unknowingly, your life starts revolving around what your spouse wants, their likes and dislikes, what they want to do. The relationship between the two stops being one of two equals, but instead dissolves into a relation of demand and supply- they demand, and you provide.
You Lose Everyone You Love
One of the most common experiences that spouses of narcissists have is that after a certain point, they realize that they have pushed away everyone in their life. One of the long term effects of being married to a narcissist is that they love and crave attention so much, they tend to become jealous and highly unstable when you try to get out to meet friends or family. Unfortunately, you are faced with an ultimatum- leave your loved ones, or leave your spouse. Most of the people in this conundrum choose the former because somewhere, they still see glimpses of the person they originally fell in love with. Somehow, a temporary separation from your loved ones turns into a permanent one pretty soon, and soon, the only close person in your life is your spouse.
You Get Aware of All Your Faults- Real and Imagined
Even more effects of being married to a narcissist include you being hyper-aware of all your faults- even the ones that do not exist. One of the best controlling tools that a narcissist has is to downgrade the other person so much that they begin feeling completely worthless. This, in turn, makes them more grateful for the narcissist, because they have at least one person who loves them. This thus elevates the status of the narcissist from an equal to someone to be revered, giving them even more power.
Once again the question arises: Can you be married to a narcissist and be happy? The only way to be happy in an unfulfilling relationship like this is to lose all sense of individuality, and become a puppet, just like your spouse wants. Since obviously no person would do that, the best thing to do is leave them.