My Wife Is Abusive - What Can I Do?
Although it is mostly believed that men are the abusive ones in a relationship, it is not always true. Women can be abusive too. So if you feel you are stuck with an abusive wife, you need to learn how to handle her. The first thing to do is to read the signs that could indicate you have an abusive wife.
Notice the Signs
Your wife will tend to be verbally and physically abusive. She will not like it when you spend time with others besides her and she will want to have a say in everything you do. She will not take your emotions into consideration and will only focus on herself. While at times you may ignore these signs, it may suddenly hit you, ‘my wife is abusive’. An emotionally abusive wife can have a great toll on your mental health, so it is important for you to know how to handle her.
Keep Yourself Safe: If you have a physically abusive wife, the first thing you need to do is to keep yourself safe. Your wife may try to hit you or throw things at you. So when she gets into a temper tantrum, leave the room, so that you do not get hurt physically.
Stay Calm: The next thing you can do is to remain calm. It is quite understandable that you will want to fight back out of anger. But it is important for you to resist this urge as it could only make matters worse.
Set Boundaries: When you have an abusive wife, it is important to set boundaries. You can tell her that you will sit and talk to her as long as she does not hurt you physically. With a verbally abusive wife, you also need to set boundaries regarding the things she brings up when angry.
Have a Safe Place to go to If your wife starts getting physical and you are not able to keep yourself safe in the same house, make sure you go someplace safe. Tell your wife that you are going to a friend’s place and will come back when she is ready to talk amicably.
Record the Abuse: The next thing you can do is to document the abuse. You could either click photographs of yourself if your wife has physically harmed you, or you could record the things she says while she is being abusive. Most people do not like to admit that they have been abusive, so having proof will help a great deal.
Try to get her help: If you love your wife and still want the marriage to work despite the abuse, try talking to her about getting help. When she calms down, you could suggest she goes for therapy to control her anger so that her abusiveness does not harm the marriage.
Keep the kids safe: It gets all the more tricky when kids are involved in a troubled marriage. Your priority should be to keep them safe. Tell your wife that you will bring the kids back when she calms down and stops being abusive. Take them someplace safe so that they do not have to experience their mother being abusive.
File for divorce: If nothing else works, the only thing you can do to get away from an abusive wife is to file for divorce. This is, of course, going to be difficult. But you cannot keep letting yourself get harmed physically and emotionally by your abusive wife.
When wife abuses husband, it is important for the husband to take the necessary steps to make sure that the first and foremost keeps himself and the kids safe.