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Best Happy Divorce Quotes

Divorce is no doubt an extremely trying time in anyone’s life. However, rest assured knowing that you are not alone. With a 50% divorce rate in the state, there is no doubt that other than you there must be someone else you in in the same separation boat.

Like all things in life, laughter is the cure to the pain inflicted by divorce as well. These jokes no doubt get uncomfortable at times. However, there is nothing like a little laughter and relatable comedy to help you tide through the mess that you are currently embroiled in.

Happy Divorce Quotes

Happy divorce quotes are an oxymoron in themselves. How can you be happy during the most exhausting and difficult period of your life? With a change in perspective, of course! Listed below are some quotes which will help you to change your attitude towards divorce, and will get you pumped for the upcoming freedom.

Happy Divorce Quotes

  • A divorce is like the American Declaration of Independence, but which has only two signatures.            
  • No one can stay married in a situation where they are scared that going to sleep means waking up with a slit throat.                                                                                                                           
  • The only lasting peace that a man and his wife will have with each other is the tranquility which comes after a divorce.                                                                                                                              
  • Being a workaholic is an insane addiction to get over. Sometimes, you will just have to divorce your wife, because she was a master enabler.                                                                                          
  • Never divorce, if you will have the opportunity of burying them first.                                                    
  • Two people getting a divorce is not a sign that they got lost in translation, and stopped understanding each other. It is a sign that after everything, they finally begin to grasp the truth.                               
  • Americans are the one group of people who makes a huge show about marrying only after falling in love. Ironically, this is the one group with the highest rates of divorce as well. If anything, this shows the determination of the American people to not live a life where they do not find love.                         
  • According to ancient Jewish customs, your spouse having bad breath was grounds for getting a divorce.

Happy After Divorce Quotes

You have signed the declaration of divorce, and you have separated from your partner. Now what? How will you help yourself tide over the sudden strangeness in your life? By reminding yourself how lucky you have been to get out, of course. Listed below are some happy after divorce quotes, handpicked especially to bring a smile to your face and make you thank your stars that you broke free.

Happy After Divorce Quotes

  • Instead of getting married again, find yourself a man who is willing to give you $15 million, along with the guarantee that he will be dead within the year.                                                                            
  • The happiest that anyone is during their entire lifetime is just after they have had their first divorce.    
  • Maybe you are upset not because you got a divorce, but because you did not get to be a widow first.    
  • You never know a woman fully until the day you meet her in divorce court.                                         
  • If you make a list of why two people got married to each other, and then compile a list of why they got divorced, you will find that the characteristics oddly overlap with each other.                                 
  • Whoever has said that money cannot buy happiness, has clearly never had a divorce.                         
  • Once a man has been divorced, the splitting and sharing of anything into two, even ice cream, bring back warm memories.                                                                                                                    
  • You will know that you have matured as a person when you remember all the outrageous things your spouse said to you during divorce, but still have the ability to turn over and go to sleep.

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Search for anyone in the United States! 100% Confidential! Updated on February 21, 2020
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