Facing Unwanted Flirting? Here is How to Shut It Down!When intentions and feelings are different in any relationship, the question arises: how to end the illusion? Maybe one wanted to give it a try and finally knows that it won't stick, or maybe the other insists in a way that makes us back off. Whatever the situation, the best is to be clear and state your truth.
If it is not pleasant to be the one who's rejected, it is also an arduous task to clearly set your boundaries, with a bit of tact and empathy. If you want to get rid of these creepy flirtings, you'll have to be assertive and protect yourself. This is how to deal with unwanted flirting.
Why this Person Keep Flirting with You?
There are many reasons why a person may think that he or she still has chances to be with you and obviously not getting the message that you have no romantic interest in him or her. Is he/she is one of these cases?
- They simply cannot accept reality and even though the rejection is obvious, it would hurt their ego so much that they prefer to deny. They might feel that nobody has rejected them, so why would you?
- They are day-dreaming and super optimistic, to the point that they feel that if they do everything to please you and be the perfect partner, they would get to your heart.
- He or she is obsessed with you and cannot take a no as an answer.
- He or she is a narcissistic pervert and tries to embarrass you, make you feel uncomfortable, destabilize you by seeing you as a sexual object, sometimes in front of others.
- He or she is a megalomaniac and has an exaggerated self-image, considering himself/herself so important that there is not a single chance someone would reject him/her.
- He or she simply did not get the message. They need a good reason to stop believing in it.
- He or she can have an influence on you because of his/her position (usually at work) and think you'd better follow his/her desires.
In most cases, we do not clearly say no because we want to stay sympathetic, we don't want to hurt someone else's feelings and most of all, we know the truth is not pleasant to hear. Therefore, we might be unclear, blur the lines and the person in front of us may not receive the proper message. Also, some people will never understand the message until you are truly honest and crystal-clear, saying sincerely that you do not have any romantic thoughts and prefer to stop the relationship here. Of course, there's no need to hurt and be harsh, but just to find the right words to deliver the right message.
There's a chance that this person will attempt to speak to you by all means. We're now facing intrusive dating tactics such as this new "Tindstagramming" trend described as “the act of sneaking into someone’s Instagram direct messages after failing to match with them on Tinder” meaning that dating can sometimes be close to stalking.
Virtually or in reality, someone could just consider that if you're on a dating app or if you discussed with them, they have a chance to make it until your bed. There is also what we call "orbiting" which means that a person (a lover, a crush, an ex, someone you've matched with...) is following all your social media activities, he or she might watch, like, comment.
The solution? Be clear and set your boundaries. You can let the person know before, but if you want to play it discreetly, you don't have to, then unfollow or unfriend him/her and set your social media accounts to private, so that they will not be able to access to your profile and follow your activities.
Pretend Your Are Not Available
If telling the truth in an assertive way is not enough for them to understand and to end this creepy flirting, you can still opt for a little white lie and pretend you are not single anymore or depending on what the person knows about you, you could pretend you're back with an ex. Of course, it's better, to tell the truth, but if this is the only thing that refrains them, a white lie is good to stop the unwanted flirting and avoid hurting someone's feelings at the same time.
If you have tried your best and so far, nothing works, the last available solution is to block her or him from your phone and every social media where he or she tries to contact you. If you have each other's numbers, block his or her number. When you decide to block someone's number, the person will not be able to call you anymore, nor to send you a message and you'll never receive his or her calls and messages.
Remember that what matters is, to be honest with yourself, so not pretend to be into it if you do not and respect your own feelings. It's totally fine to be assertive and set your boundaries even if it can hurt. If you're not sure what are his/her intentions, do not be afraid to speak about it or clearly flag yourself as "taken" or not interested. Best of luck!
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