How to Ask for a Divorce from Your Wife
Sometimes, for whatever reason, marriages just do not seem to work. It could be because you have fallen out of love, or because there are just so many problems, that no matter what you do, you just cannot find common standing ground with her.
But obviously, stating that you want a divorce is a messy affair. The way you approach this conversation may determine what her reaction is, culminating in which way the divorce proceedings move forward. While there is no fixed answer or solution to keep things amicable at all times, there are a few steps you can take to ensure that this entire process goes as smoothly as possible.
Be Absolutely Sure Of the Divorce
Be aware you know why you are requesting a divorce. Is it because you have started feeling invisible in your marriage and do not love her anymore, or is it because you feel like you need a break? If it is the latter, then you still have a working room to make things better. Do not bring up divorce unless you are completely sure, because once the topic comes up, it will be difficult to go back to normal.
Be Considerate of Her Reaction
While no one can fully be prepared for the reaction that their wife will give, understanding and preparing beforehand can help you a lot. Do you think that your wife is as unhappy as you are? Or will the divorce come as a huge shock to her? It is best to think about all the possible ways you know your wife will react in, and structure your talking points accordingly.
Will Counseling Help?
A great number of times, couples do not want a divorce from their spouse. They just have some problems that need a solution. Couples counseling can not only help you identify the problem areas in your marriage but will also provide you with a comprehensive solution on how to make your marriage better.
Be Gentle and Compassionate
Chances are that your wife is happy with you and has not thought of a divorce. In this case, dropping a bomb like this on her will cause a lot of stress and a lot of questions. be gentle and compassionate, yet firm on your point. The best way to do this is to think about how you would have wanted to be told, and act accordingly.
Do Not Act Out
You may have to hear a lot of accusations, including how you failed as a husband and as a man. It may hurt to hear all this and may infuriate you, but do not take it out on her. Just listen. You wife will be hurting, and she will be seeking a way to make you feel bad about this entire situation. She may withdraw from you and may stop interacting with you. However, you should encourage her to share her hurt. Women are vocal by nature
and encouraging her to voice out her feelings will be therapeutic for both of you.
Know When to End the Discussion
When deliberating on divorce, there will be a lot of interaction between you and your wife that the two of you will be uncomfortable with. Since you have started the discussion, you should know when to stop it as well. Do not discuss assets, children, and who gets to keep the house in the first discussion, no matter how much your wife eggs you to. Tell her you a decision of divorce, listen to her and end the conversation. The other topics are a time for a later date.