The Art Of Intimate Conversation
Striking up a deep conversation with someone you are interested in can feel scary. You don't know how the other person might react, and you don't want to say something that could inadvertently push the other person away. Yet intimate conversations are an important aspect of relationships, a bar that places romantic relationships apart from the kind of bonds you share with your family and friends.
But were initiating a topic that can be viewed as deep feels scary, yet at some point, you would like to know your partner on a deeper level, how do you go about starting that conversation?
What are Intimate Conversations?
Before you think about starting an intimate conversation, you need to first assess what it really means. By definition, an intimate conversation is any conversation you share with another person on an interpersonal level, that seeks to deepen the bonds within you. These kinds of conversations can be about the other person's interests, history, thoughts, or anything that they do not share with many other people. A simple example of this would be asking your partner about their older relationships.
Yet there are certain topics that could lead to uncomfortable or awkward scenarios, especially where the partner is not comfortable with discussing them. The art of intimate conversation lies in allowing the other person to tell you what they want to tell you. Usually, people enjoy talking about themselves, and even if they don't directly talk about themselves, their interests can also indicate what kind of a person they are. When encouraged to talk, people enjoy sharing their stories with other people. But it is only when they resonate with another person are they likely to engage in strong interpersonal conversations.
So the first step in having an intimate conversation with your partner lies in creating an atmosphere where such a conversation could be enjoyed. An example of how intimate conversations depend on settings lies in the difference between talking during dinner at a restaurant versus while dancing in a night club. If the setting is not conducive to the conversation, then it is best to avoid it at that point.
If you are at a setting where you can really get to know another person and pay attention to what they are saying, then you should first gently guide the topic towards what you want to talk about. For example, if you want to know what your partner was like during school, then first talking about what you were like during school is more likely to get them to open up about themselves. This applies to other areas of conversation as well, but if the person feels uncomfortable about discussing a certain topic, then it may be more useful to leave that topic for the duration of that conversation.
Are Intimate Conversations effective?
People today live in an increasingly isolated world, where forming meaningful relationships takes a lot of effort and perseverance. Intimate relationships are an important part of getting to understand another person, and in return, understanding whether that person is right for you.
A person who absolutely refuses to have any kind of deep or meaningful conversation with you, if that is important to you, is unlikely to be the sort of person who can make you happy for the rest of your life. Intimate conversations also play a role in building important memories of your connection. It can also help both people to learn from each other and grow as individuals.
Ultimately, intimate conversations are a staple part of every important relationship. They are effective in strengthening bonds, improving connections as well as developing memories for the long run.