Bad Parenting and How to Avoid It
Parenting has a lot of grey areas, and most parents will tell you they try to do their best when it comes to raising their children. Inside the grey areas, there are several pitfalls that can have a great impact on a family, and many parents are not even aware when they stumble into them. Those pitfalls are the 'bad parenting' zones that should be avoided, and the best way to do so is by noticing them up ahead. So, what are the most common 'bad parents' pitfalls and how can you avoid them? Find out right here.1. Getting angry when kids are honest
Many parents encourage their children to be honest with them and share things even if they find it difficult talking about what is bothering them. Unfortunately, plenty of parents often tend to "explode" when their kids share certain things with them. This is understandable, especially when kids do something wrong, but it can ruin relationships between parents and children.
When your child gathers the courage to tell you something difficult, even if it's about them making a mistake, do not get angry in front of them. As the adults, it is our job to stay calm even in the face of storms. If you feel yourself boiling to the point of overreacting, tell your child you need a few moments to think about what they told you. This parental "time out" will allow you to cool down and think of a solution without getting angry in front of your children.
As a parent, you should set clear boundaries so your children will learn how to become responsible adults. However, you need to know when and where to be flexible. For example, if you have more than one child, what works on one of them will not work on the other. So, you should avoid trying to raise the child you want and instead raise the child you have. Flexibility is key as a parent, and it can work wonders in certain situations.
There is a difference between trying to educate and being judgmental, and this is one thing that 'bad parents' do not always understand. Constantly trying to "fix" your kids by telling them what they are doing wrong will have the opposite effect; your kids will try to rebel and stir away from what you tell them. So, try to avoid criticism and use a positive tone when you speak to your children. Kids are masters of detecting tones, and they can easily tell if you are critical.
Physical and emotional affection has both a physical and mental effect on kids as well as adults. Some people have a hard time showing verbal and physical affection, and it could affect kids. Children need to know that they are loved, and a few good words and hugs can do wonders with that. If you have trouble showing affection, work on it for your kids. You will both win a good parent by doing so.5. Too much pampering
While some parents do not always find it easy to show their affection, others do it a bit too much. Giving your child everything he/she wants and constantly showering them with attention and gifts is one of the biggest bad parenting problems. One of the most important roles parents have to prepare their kids for life as an adult, and pampering is not the way to get there. As they grow older, your kids will understand that they cannot have everything they want, and all their childhood pampering will make it difficult for them to deal with that reality.
This problem is very common in families with several children, where parents use sentences like "you brother was better," "why can't you be like your sister," etc. while these sentences may seem small and insignificant to adults, they can be devastating to children. Having your parents make you feel inadequate and that you do not live up to their expectations is harsh, and you should avoid comparing your child to their siblings or any other kids.7. Not setting a good example
The two most influential people in kids' lives are their parents, so you have the responsibility of leading by example. Children look up to their parents to set an example for them, and every parent should be aware of this. You can help your children become well-adjusted and kind adults by showing them how to behave accordingly. There will be times where you will fall short of the good example you want to set, but that is natural. In the long run, you have to be consistent with your behavior and show your children the best example you can.
Parenting never was and will never be easy. Most parents struggle to find the best way to bring up their kids, and it is likely that every parent will have difficulties at times. Becoming a good parent means stop being a bad parent, and the examples above will help you get over the pitfalls that many fell in the past.