How to Break Up with a Cheater?
Relationships surely take time and effort. In a world where everyone seeks inspiration to do new things and live fully, it can take a toll on relationships. A good relationship works with trust and consistency.
Once you enter a relationship, there is a mutual understanding of commitment and loyalty. Unless you specifically agreed to an open relationship, you would not appreciate your partner dating other people while with you. Unfortunately, external circumstances can also complicate romantic relationships, which can result in heartbreak.
A number of people, despite committing to someone, happen to cheat. This can happen for many reasons, from one-time mistakes to serial cheating. No matter the case, cheating is not acceptable if it is done behind someone's back. Cheating undervalues the entire foundation of the relationship, making you lose trust in your partner. And a relationship without trust usually results in too many mind-games and painful moments.
How should you talk to your partner about cheating?
If you happen to find out that your partner has been cheating on you, you have every right to know the truth. The most appropriate way to go about it is to confront the cheater in question, with as much kindness as you can find in yourself. Anger and acrimony will usually not create the best environment for a constructive conversation. If they come to the conversation with an honest heart and provide a valid explanation as to why they cheated, you can then choose to evaluate whether their reason is excusable. Remember to not jump to conclusions. If you care deeply about your partner and wish to work through these issues, you can opt to do so. It will take time to rebuild what has been destroyed but if you both wish to move forward, you can work through these issues. It will take both partners to communicate truthfully, with a common goal of fixing the relationship.
On the other hand, if you believe that their infidelity is inexcusable, breaking up with the person might save you a lot of heartbreak. Trust your instinct to determine whether you are involved with an individual who made an isolated mistake, or who has the character of a serial cheater.
How to let them know?
It might not be the easiest conversation, but it is a key step in moving forward, in whichever direction. To prepare for such a talk, try to distance yourself from the situation, to take a step back and breathe, to get your emotions under control. If you are too emotional, chances are that you will react more strongly than you would like and that anything your partner replies will trigger disproportionate reactions. Try to advise yourself as you would advise a friend. There is no right or wrong. The most important aspect is to ensure that your feelings are not hurt any further and that you get a platform to express your grief in a constructive manner.
Remember your worth
When you are cheated on, it is natural to feel inadequate and lose a lot of self-confidence. But it is important to remember that you are not the reason for your partner’s shortcomings. Their cheating might have to do with lacks in your relationships, but they are still responsible for their actions. It is not your responsibility to stop your partner from being unfaithful towards you.
A relationship is made up of two people. Both parties need to make an equal and consistent effort. Even when you’re in a successful and content relationship, it is very important that you are able to make yourself happy. Happiness need not be subjective to the relationship you are in. It is important to maintain your place in the outside world and carry on with your life, with or without your partner. If your partner has cheated on you once, there is a possibility that they could do it again. You might want to see the positive side and give them a chance again, but no one knows the situation better than you do. You need to take charge of the circumstances and make a decision that will honor your future.
Listen to their side of the story, even if you want to break up
When starting a breakup conversation with a cheater, you have to let them say what they have to say. Not for their sake, but for your own. So, when you let your partner know that you are aware of their cheating, give them a chance to explain themselves. It will allow you to have a clearer mind in the future and be left with fewer questions buzzing in your mind. However, make it clear that your intention is to hear their side of the story for your own peace of mind, but your decision is made up and that you still want to break up. Once they are done saying what they have to say, be strong and end the relationship if you still feel it is the best thing for you.
Look towards your friends for comfort
When someone cheats on you, it may feel like your whole world has shattered. It is okay to count on your friends or family rather than wallowing in self-pity. The faster you stop feeling sorry for yourself, the faster you will get back on your feet.
Erase memories that do not favor you
If you are affected by looking at gifts or photos that remind you of your partner, it is best to get rid of them altogether. If you have mutual friends, make a wise choice to avoid topics that involve your partner. As they say – out of sight, out of mind.
Breaking up with a cheater is never easy. Just believe in doing the best thing for your future self and get done with it. You are very special, with or without that person in your life.