Are You Micro-Cheating On Your Partner?
Cheating is usually an end-game for many relationships as it causes the person who was cheated on to lose trust – one of the most important elements of romantic relationships. Having a physical affair is usually why people end their relationship but is that the only form of cheating? Micro-cheating can also wreak havoc on relationships, and if you do not know what it is, it's time to get to know the definition of micro-cheating.
Micro Cheating Definition
According to Tammy Nelson, Ph.D., sex and relationship therapist, and author of The New Monogamy: Redefining Your Relationship After Infidelity, the micro-cheating definition is “Micro-cheating happens when you create small opportunities for affectionate behaviors that fall outside your relationship.
So, micro-cheating happens outside a relationship and it includes behaviors that you will not normally do around your partner. Micro cheating is also non-physical behavior that you perform without your partner's knowledge.
While on the surface micro-cheating may not seem like a big deal, it usually leads to other things and can develop into an affair.
What is Micro Cheating?
Micro cheating does not necessarily involve physical contact, and there are certain behaviors that are considered micro-cheating, such as:
Keeping track of a person of interest's social media – if you find yourself obsessing over what a certain person posts on social media and commenting/liking on their posts regularly, you may be micro-cheating.
- Dressing to impress – dressing in a way that you find attractive is perfectly normal, and you should always dress the way you want. However, if you suddenly change your clothing style with the purpose of impressing someone who is not your partner, you're micro-cheating.
- Hiding/deleting texts messages – are you muting or deleting texts that you receive from a particular person? Do you think there is something to hide from your partner? If so, it is a clear sign of micro-cheating.
- Sharing sexual preferences – talking about what you like in bed, your fantasies, and your sexual history with someone who is not your partner can lead you to full-blown cheating that began with this type of micro-cheating.
Is Micro Cheating Mean the End of Your Relationship?
Micro cheating may seem to have blurry lines, but they become clear once you think about your motivation and the boundaries in your relationship. Take a moment to consider what you are trying to do with certain behaviors. Are you trying to get someone's attention? Do you want to be more than friends with someone in your life who is not your partner?
If so, you are probably micro-cheating, but that does not mean that your relationship has to end. If you indulge in behaviors that you know your partner will not like (assuming that he/she is not overly jealous of everything), then you know that something is going in with you and your relationship.
You need to ask yourself what you do not like about your relationship, and why you might be exhibiting behaviors that can hurt your partner. You should also be honest with your other half; if you are not happy in your relationship and you afraid you may cross a line that there is no coming back from, talk to your partner.
The conversation may be heated, uncomfortable, and hard, but ask yourself if it's not better than the alternative – having an affair that started out innocently.
Is My Partner Micro Cheating on Me?
If you look deep in your soul and discover you are micro-cheating, it is up to you to try and fix the situation. But what happens if the scenario is reverse? What can you do if you suspect that your partner may be micro-cheating on you? first of all, you should seek out strange behaviors of your other half, like a different clothing style, texting more than ever, and spending a lot of time on social media.
You should follow your partner on social media and see how they interact with certain people, which can indicate micro-cheating. To hide his/her behavior, your partner may have several social media accounts that you are not aware of.
If you want to find out if your romantic partner has several such accounts, perform a people search, email search, or phone number search with GoLookUp. The advanced public records search engines will provide you with all your partner's social media accounts, so you will be able to discover if they have something to hide.