Separation Advice that Every Couple Should Try
An obvious outcome of separation is the regret of marriage, but sometimes you just know it in your heart that the separation is not because of a desire to move on, but more out of the dismay towards things missing in the marriage and the inability to make amends. It is human nature to sometimes drag decisions before correcting them.
Some drag their marriages, but it is also true that some may drag their separation while there is still a possibility to get back together after separation. In rare occasions, separation advice aimed at facilitating a separation may leave no option for recourse, especially when both partners have some kind of overt or suppressed desire to get back together.
If you are one of those women who have a good understanding of what went amiss in the marriage and have good reason to get your husband back, the following steps may be helpful.
1. Allow yourself forgiveness: Whether it is for him or for you, it is time to forgive and let bygones be bygones. It is time to ponder on the future in a way that the past does not repeat itself. Whatever the noise about the separation, whatever the false presumptions and denials that your partner had about the marriage if you know what the root cause of the separation was and you are certain that he will be convinced to get back and give it another try. Don’t see this as a bad idea and get offended, think of it as a necessary first step. Without forgiveness, there can really be no progress.
2. Allow yourself happiness: Heartbreaks are tough. Getting to hear your husband say that he doesn’t love you anymore, can really drain you of happiness or the desire to try and be happy. After all, why seek happiness if one eventually ends up sad? Well, life comprises of ups and downs. Is it possible that you are dragging yourself through the sadness just like you try to prolong your happy periods? Think about it. Perhaps it is best to quickly move out of despair because the damage is already done. Time to repair the relationship and being happy strengthens your odds to find success. It rids the pursuit of recovery from the desperation and the self-imposed needs that may have caused the separation in the 1st place.
3. Be precise, firm and direct: There might be a lot of bottled-up emotion between the two of you. A lot of things that feel short for words. These unsaid words may just flow out uncontrollably and a moment of intimacy may turn into an outburst that your husband does not deserve. If you have truly allowed, forgiveness and happiness back in your life, you will easily untangle your thoughts, summarize and organize them and say them in a precise, short and direct manner. He will respect you for your clarity and therein lays the possibility that he may trust your understanding of the relationship. This could lay the foundation for your breakthrough to recovery.
4. Communication also involves listening: If you are short with your words, it is a victory for you, but do not expect the same from him. Chances are if he separated out of anxiety, he may have a lot of baggage to unload on you. If he goes on and on and one, be the good listener and the pillar of strength that is helping him open up. Chances are, both of you may have imagined most of the conflict and all you needed was some communication to revitalize the mutual trust.
5. Honor his efforts and let him know you need it too: Let him know how important he is to you and also how he needs to value you. Does it require long conversations? Maybe, but what it requires most is an honest connection, a happy smile, and a caring behavior while trying to make amends and thereafter. That feeling of being life partners needs to be recognized and used to flush out the entire deadwood.