Mentally Abusive Relationship: What is a Mentally Abusive Relationship?
It is easy to recognize physical abuse, but mental abuse in any relationship is more insidious. Mental abuse can go undetected by friends and even family members. In many cases, victims themselves do not recognize they are mentally abused. According to clinical social workers, emotional abuse carries a terrifying subtlety. Victims cannot differentiate between "caring" behavior and mental abuse.
The beginning of a mentally abusive relationship is innocuous. The perpetrator will be kind and attentive. This is what psychologists refer to as the "grooming process". Doing so helps the person to win the confidence and trust of the victim. Once the latter starts to trust the perpetrator, the person becomes susceptible to subsequent abuse.
Mental abuse is done to gain control and power in the relationship. It may take multiple forms like insulting, ignoring, criticizing, belittling, swearing, name-calling, stone-walling, and ridiculing. Mental abuse is invisible to the eye but its effects on the victim will be traumatic. Mentally abused people could experience substance abuse, anxiety, PTSD, and chronic pain issues. There are a number of signs that you could be in a mentally abusive relationship.
A mental abuser will make unreasonable demands from you. The person expects you to stop everything you do and satisfy their wants. He will demand that you spend all the time together. She will be dissatisfied no matter how hard you try or give. There will be a flood of criticism if you do not complete tasks as per the wishes of the perpetrator. The latter will expect you to voice their opinions and discourage you from having yours. When you protest, they will tell you the exact dates and times you have supposedly messed up. The abuser will intentionally discuss subjects which will make you apologetic or sad.
Invalidating your existence
Mental abusers will always dismiss or undermine what you do. They will distort your perception of reality. Your feelings will be negated and they will instruct on how to feel. You have to explain in full your activities and you have to do this repeatedly. The abuser will tell you are crazy or too sensitive or too emotional. Your opinions and ideas will be dismissed as invalid and you will repeatedly hear how your wants do not deserve merit. You will be repeatedly suggested that your perceptions are fully wrong. You will hear phrases like "you like to blow matters out of proportion" or "you always exaggerate".
Abusive people love to create chaos. They begin arguments just for fun. They prefer to make contradictory and confusing statements. The mental abuser could have sudden emotional outbursts or rapid-fire changes in mood. The person will nitpick your work, your hair, and your clothes. The behavior will be so unpredictable and erratic that you feel like "walking on eggshells".
Mental abusers instinctively know how to manipulate you and control in such a manner that you feel guilty. They will not hesitate to humiliate you in private or in public. The person will use your compassion, values, and fears to control you. Expect your abuser to highlight your flaws or point them out so that their own shortcomings are not mentioned. The mental abuser is adept in denying that an event took place. They will lie through their teeth to deny the truth or the fact. If you do not pay attention to them for doing another work, the mental abuser will punish you for doing so. They will act superior to you at all times and treat you like you are an inferior being.