How to Find the Perfect Relationship
Longing to find the perfect mate for us is innate, and putting the biological aspects of relationships aside, most of us spend a great deal of time and energy searching for that special someone. Like many things in life, we have control over the relationship we end up having, and if you want that perfect couple hood, you can achieve it. It may take time, it may be difficult, but if you follow these 10 guidelines and tips, you'll reach your relationship goals and be with the right person for you:
Forget about "opposites attracting"
According to Psychology Today, the best couples are the ones where both partners have many similarities, and it makes perfect sense. Finding the right person is finding someone that wants the same future as you, has a similar world view and shares your interests. Opposites may be attracted to one another in the beginning but that tends to fizzle out, and what you end up getting is two people that have very few things in common.
Practice on perfecting yourself
Being in the perfect relationship means not only finding the best partner for you, but also being the best partner yourself. According to Psychology Today, you need to be the kind of partner you want. So, if you feel that you have things about yourself that need improvement, work on them first and then seek out the person that is right for you.
Put loneliness aside
Unfortunately, many people find themselves in the wrong relationship because they would rather be a part of a couple, any couple, than end up alone. Those people may have someone to come home to at night but being in a bad relationship feels just as lonely as not being in a relationship at all. If you don’t want that to happen to you, don't jump into the relationship pool out of fear. Try meeting people that are right for you and remember – the great majority of people end up being a part of a long-term relationship so eternal loneliness isn't really possible.
Take your time
Meeting someone that is right for you can light a great fire that just bursts in us and can make us do things too quickly. Finally finding someone special may cause you to jump the gun on certain things but you should try taking your time. Don't force a committed relationship right of the bat, but let things take their natural course. Finding a perfect relationship means building it over time and not necessarily being Mr. and Mrs. Happy from the beginning. That fire in your belly may feel great, but if you don't try and control it, it might burn everything even before it starts.
Be passionate but thoughtful
Passion… it is definitely one of the best sensations in the world, and also one of the biggest smoke screens when it comes to relationships. Romantic love should go hand in hand with lust and passion, and the two of them make the perfect relationship. If you want a passionate and loving relationship, consider putting the physical aspect on the side for a while. That will allow you time to explore your emotions and find out if you actually like the person you are meeting, or if your just physically attracted to them.
Learn from your past mistakes
It may sound like a cliché but relying on history and finding out what was the downfall in your past relationships can have a great impact on your future. Take the time to remember what went wrong with other partners and if had something to do with you. If you find common denominators that caused your relationships to end, try not to repeat old patterns. That doesn't go to say that every break up you went through was your fault but that all of us should be accountable for the things that we do and learn to look at our own mistakes and not only those of other people.
Expand your choices in partners
Whether we like to or not, most of us end up having a little checklist in our heads that includes the exact qualities we look for in a partner. That list subconsciously makes us date only the people that fit the pattern we built, and that can be destructive. If you want to find a perfect relationship, take control of your consciousness and crumble up that list. Try dating people you wouldn't normally date, and you'll be amazed at what you will find. Some of the best relationships started out when two people decided to give non-checklist people a shot and they ended up falling in love.
Look for mutual support
One of the most important things in any relationship is finding someone that is emotionally supportive, and that is something you shouldn't compromise on. When you look for that perfect partner for you, notice how potential love interests respond to the things that bother you, and also be sure that you support them as well. Being with a person that can't support you during tough moments or just on a daily basis can be difficult and it will make you feel frustrated and lonely.
Look for someone that motivates you
Motivation in life is extremely important and finding a partner that can motivate you is something you should aspire to. When you date people and look for that special someone, search for the one that lights a passion for life in your soul. It goes without saying that you should also be a motivator for your partner, so that the both of you can push each other to be the best versions of yourselves, in whatever it may be that you are trying to achieve.
Be ready to let someone in
Opening up to someone new is one of the most difficult things on the journey to that perfect relationship. You've been hurt, you hesitate, you are unsure. Remember – all of these feelings are natural but you shouldn't let them stop you from opening up to someone new. In time, try to let your potential SO gradually come into your life and heart. Introduce them to friends, be honest with them and let them get to know you. It may be difficult but it is definitely worth the while when you find someone special.
Being in a perfect relationship means being in a perfectly flawed one. The little world you build with that special someone might not seem perfect to others, but to you it will be just what you need. To get there, you should follow the 10 tips listed above and remember – perfection is what you decide it to be.